THERE THERE is a wildly unpredictable text about being the completely wrong person in the totally wrong place at the exact wrong time doing all the most wrong things, written by one of theater's great poets of failure and surprise, Kristen Kosmas. Christopher Walken, on tour in Russia with a solo show inspired by everyone's favorite Chekhovian sociopath, mysteriously falls off the ladder and is unable to perform. Karen, who apparently proofread the script once, is asked to go on in Walken's place. A precarious bilingual performance duet ensues be- tween Karen and her Russian interpreter, Leo. This volume includes both the Russian and the English text.